Everyone venturing into the bountiful pastures of the Russian dating arena sooner or later is bound to face rejection. Some may be rejected during the online communication stage on a Russian dating site, others may be dumped after the first date or when there were hopes for a continuous and tender relationship. No matter when in particular we get rejected, there is one thing in common – it is all rather painful. What exacerbates the matters is our attempt to analyze what really went wrong and, more often than not, our propensity to blame ourselves for the failure.
Have I been rejected by my Russian bride because I was viewed as stupid, poor, too small, too fat, too thin, too gloomy or too optimistic? Why has it happened to me? Then we lapse into the tenuous process of assessing everything that we said or did, searching for the clues.
People resort to all sorts of imaginable self-punishment, including even suicide. That’s why coping with rejection is crucial for a person to keep living a normal life and to date a Russian who is really worth it. After all, if you get rejected, maybe it is not your fault at all, maybe the person who rejected you doesn’t even deserve to be with you in the first place.
Multiple studies have unequivocally proven that rejection is as detrimental to our health as physical pain. The men who had been recently dumped by a Russian bride were analyzed with special scanners that monitor our brain activity. It was established that their level of emotional trauma was so strong that it matched the trauma we experience after a painful physical impact, say, after we break a leg or an arm. Those who were administered pain-killers demonstrated a way more stable emotional state. So, pain from rejection is very acute and the consequences we suffer as a result are overbearingly serious.
Fortunately for us, there are some measures that we can take to alleviate this emotional pain and suffering after going through rejection:
Remain critical. Most people get critical after a rejection, but it is not really worth-while doing this. Why? Because most rejections occur due to the lack of compatibility or “chemistry” with your Russian dating partner rather than due to any specifics faults, flaws or shortcomings. Even if you “hit base” with a person, you may hit it not deeply enough. It is especially true for interracial dating, where cultural and racial differences often become unsurmountable even if the man and the woman find a lot of common interests and are physically attracted to each other.
Pamper to your self-esteem. Give yourself a slack, don’t blame yourself for the failure, because it may well be the case that the problem was the person who rejected you. If it is necessary, aim at reviving your self-esteem by going through the list of your best qualities and attributes. In particular, specify your qualities that are of crucial importance for successful dating and a great family life – being supportive, caring, loyal, a fantastic cook, a kissing champion, an attentive listener, a caring father and so forth. Write a concise essay on one of these pertinent attributes. Develop a habit of writing 2-3 essays on the topic each day, up to the point when you manage to overcome the stress related to rejection and feel better again.
Meet the Russian ladies who respect you more often. Consequently, we became acutely aware of this danger and, most likely, this awareness was passed over to us through the gene pool from previous generations. Thus, even minor and seemingly insignificant rejections can generate a whole whirlpool of negative emotions in your hearts. To cope with this, you need to identify the individuals who really respect you as a person. Go out with them and talk to them more often to restore and to maintain your self-esteem. They may be the members of your family or your colleagues or even your acquaintances from the gym or the gardening course you are attending (whatever your hobbies or interests are).
These three simple measures will prove adequate enough for you to get back on track in your daily life and to be open and on the lookout for new dates with outstanding Russian ladies.