No matter what led to the end of your marriage, it’s common for feelings of loneliness and despair to creep in after it’s over. After all, your marriage was a shared endeavor with your partner that was about building a life together, maybe raising children, and forming a partnership. It’s common to have very strong feelings come up after your divorce and understanding the importance of acknowledging those feelings and finding healthy techniques to cope are key for recovering and moving forward.
What are some of the ways you can cope after the end of your relationship?
Accept your feelings of loneliness
A key step in moving on and letting go is in accepting your feelings. Oftentimes, we do things to mask unpleasant emotions so that we don’t have to deal with them. When a divorce happens, people will often turn to medication, alcohol, or rebound relationships to mask the pain they’re feeling. Not only can these coping mechanisms put you in a worse situation with risks of addiction or with entertaining unhealthy relationships that will only lengthen your recovery.
Instead, take the time to acknowledge that you have lost someone that was very important in your life and it is okay to mourn what is gone. You may feel alienated from others while you grieve what you’ve lost. You will go through moments when you will feel overwhelmed with what you’re going through. All this is normal and expected. A healthy grieving process will contain lots of moments of loneliness, no matter what your marriage looked like at the end.
Understand your rights
It can be hard at the end of a marriage to consider the legal ramifications of it ending, but understanding your rights is an important thing to consider if you want to move forward and build a new future for yourself. Accepting a divorce financial settlement, child support, or alimony is not greedy or misguided. It’s what you are legally owed after the end of your marriage. Talking to a family lawyer can help you better understand your position and the next steps you should take. A family lawyer will also be able to help you gauge whether mediation or court would be a better route to take in your divorce.
No matter who was at fault at the end of your marriage, or whether you both amicably agreed to end your relationship, putting yourself in a difficult financial position does not benefit your future self and will only delay your healing.
Start a new routine
There will be a period after your marriage comes to an end where you will feel that your life has little direction or stability. Finding ways to reestablish a new routine that gives your life purpose while differentiating your past from your future is a key way you can start to take steps forward. Whether that’s by joining a divorce support group so that you have a safe place to express fears or worries, taking up a new hobby, exercising, or planning travel – finding a new routine can give you something to look forward to in these hard times.